Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Liberty to Remain Gun-Free; Slingshots, Jawbones of Asses Still OK

Okay, I saw this one and couldn't pass it up. LIberty University, aka Wingnut Hogwarts, has abandoned a proposal to allow students and faculty to carry weapons on campus. The idea was sponsored by Liberty's chapter of Students for Concealed Carry on Campus, who say that packin' heat will prevent school shootings--bad guy walks in, all the SCCC kids with concealed weapons jump up and pop him, or so the theory goes. But alas, Chancellor Jerry Falwell Jr. doesn't support it, and the Trustees have said "Thanks But No Thanks" as well. 

However, students were encouraged when the board left open the possibility of opening the seventh seal to pour out fury on would-be shooters. In addition, Students for Plagues and Wonders celebrated the decision, noting that the board did not rule out the use of boils, locust swarms, or gadflies.

Take it away, Drew!

1 comment:

Drew said...

hahahaha. well played. beautiful.